One Shoot Sunday, "The First Kiss"

photo courtesy of Katherine Forbes
The First Kiss
We trembled with anticipation
As we walked along the dock.
Shyly glanced at one another,
Awkwardness multiplied.
Faced each other -
Lips puckered, 
As if experiencing
A sour lemon.
Bodies
A mountain range apart.
It finally landed
Like a butterfly
On the corner of my mouth
And swiftly fluttered
Away.
After fifty years,
We have improved.
***
by Margaret Bednar
The above is a Flash Fiction 55 for One Stop Poetry's "One Shoot Sunday".  The photographer interviewed is Katherine Forbes.  Please click on One Shoot Sunday if you would like to read other submissions for this photo prompt.  

Comments

Claudia said…
what a lovely description of the first kiss - like a butterfly on the corner of my mouth..i loved this...and who would ever forget.. and maybe after many years, still room for improvement..? smiles
January 16, 2011 at 9:45 AM
Brian Miller said…
smiles...well you have had some practice...lol. nice...yeah i felt that like the first time...nice take on the prompt...
January 16, 2011 at 9:57 AM
Fireblossom said…
Ha! Practice makes perfect!
January 16, 2011 at 10:12 AM
Glynn said…
After 50 years -- love and passion don't belong only to the young. Good poem, Margaret.
January 16, 2011 at 10:19 AM
Kodjo Deynoo said…
A testimony of love, I love you made this personal
January 16, 2011 at 10:24 AM
Margaret said…
Claudia - Always room for improvement! :)

Brian & Fireblossom - Thank you!

Glynn - The older I get, the more I realize that! Thank you.

Kodjo - Thank you, but I made this up. I haven't even lived 50 years yet.
January 16, 2011 at 10:33 AM
Anonymous said…
Ha ha! I'm glad 50 years have matured the kissing technique. Loved the Tongue in cheek ('scuse the pun) irony here! Great take
January 16, 2011 at 10:35 AM
dustus said…
The butterfly image is so good, and contrasts excellently with the visual and feelings evoked from the sour lemon line. Your poem can be felt as well as read enjoyably. Thanks for sharing a wonderful challenge response!
January 16, 2011 at 10:46 AM
Gigi Ann said…
Yes there is always room for improvement, and I have been married for 52 years, pushing 53. I loved the 'like a butterfly on the corner of my mouth' so true.
January 16, 2011 at 12:09 PM
Anonymous said…
Lovely!!!
January 16, 2011 at 1:36 PM
Lisa Gordon said…
Love Art Happens in Black and White Margaret!!
January 16, 2011 at 4:44 PM
Gemma Wiseman said…
Love the wry humour in the last couple of lines! A beautiful little poem!
January 16, 2011 at 4:55 PM
Margaret said…
repressedsoul - Thank you! Something for us all to look forward to!

Dustus - I read your poem first and had so many doubts that I could do it. Decided to read the other takes on the photo after I finished mine or I would have chickened out. Yours was great. And thanks for the kind words.

Gigi Ann - Congratulations on 53! Wonderful.

Haiku & Lisa - Thank you. I love the exclamation marks. :)

Greyscale - I'm glad you found it funny. Wry humor is often the best, I think. Thank you.
January 16, 2011 at 8:26 PM
Anonymous said…
Imagination can't vividly recall butterfly kisses.. ..grin..
January 16, 2011 at 9:00 PM
Margaret said…
booguloo - maybe it remembers the disappointment of wanting more? :)
January 17, 2011 at 11:05 AM
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